It's funny how life works sometimes. You spend a life time trying to figure things out: God, this world, your own heart, reason's beyond our own understanding. It appears every time I reach that point where I think I have it all figured out, God reveals an aspect, or a block to me that I forgot to factor in; and like a big tower of Jenga pieces, every philosophy, every reason, and every belief comes tumbling down, leaving me at square one, with a mess of blocks and an impending frustration.
If I know one thing of God that cannot be shaken or slightly altered by even the most prestigious priest or virtuous preacher, it is this: God is a God of love.
There, I have successfully built my first block, and although I look around me overwhelmed by the various blocks scattered throughout the table, I can be certain that this block is the building block of every other aspect of God. I can be rest assured that every Truth is founded upon this one. So I will begin there.
I am finally at a place in life where I am starting to make my faith my own. I no longer have my mom or dad right next to me to mirror their moves and reflect their beliefs. I find my self looking on either side of me, for a sense of familiarity or confirmation, when I am sitting in a controversial session testing my very faith. Suddenly it is up to me to determine what I do an do not believe. And although I have built a life-time of belief's and faith in a God I have grown to love and adore, I am forced to challenge and reflect upon the reasoning for believing every thing I do, beginning with square one. I am forced to constantly ask myself "why do I believe the way I do?" With God's word as my map, I learn how much easier it was when I had a navigator, one I trusted, one I did not have to question. But the beauty of it is I am now faced with a choice, with no one to take the steering wheel of my own faith, I can choose to try and figure out this map on my own, or I can give the wheel to the Man I have spent a life time learning about.
I am forced total reliance on this Man. And suddenly it begins to make sense. I am not my own. If there is one thing I know of God it is this: He is a God of love. And He is far more than I will ever be able to comprehend.